Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I will die if light touches me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
