i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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