Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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