one might say we're banned from that church
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
