i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
