She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
