i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
