so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
