It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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