Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
