and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
