Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
