Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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