I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
