we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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