I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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