peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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