So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
