its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
