Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
