The maid of honor just puked.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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