my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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