I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
that is very illegal...i love you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
