i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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