Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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