I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
