I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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