The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
