I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
