Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
