ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
