Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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