my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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