MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
