Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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(631): View more from New York

I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.

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(330): View more from Ohio

he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.

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(330): View more from Ohio

All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.

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(949): View more from California

Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life

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(720): View more from Colorado

just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.

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(614): View more from Ohio

ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.

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