everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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