Nicole vs. Life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
