You really coming over, don't trick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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