He is such a slut. More and more my type.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
