Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
