it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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