covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
