I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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