It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
