You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
