I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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