There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
