my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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