we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
