Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
