im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
