how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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