"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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