im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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