Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
