Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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