I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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